Recycling servers reverts back to graceful (waiting for clients to disconnect)

Commit 63d0772d was initially to address server termination (sisue #236), but
expanded in scope to include server recycling (e.g. due to semaphore/config
file touch) and that turns out to not be what most sysops want.

If you want an immediate/ungraceful recycle, do a restart (shutdown/stop and
then start) instead.

Immediate/ungraceful server shutdown/termination is still in effect however.

No change to the "server pause" feature either, so combining pause with
recycle would be effective to prevent *new* client connections while waiting
for existing clients to disconnect and allow a recycle to happen.