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Commit 2f993acb authored by Rob Swindell's avatar Rob Swindell :speech_balloon:
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Add more modern references, final fall-through strings, fixed typos 

Not sure who mispelled Synchronet in here. That's embarassing.
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(TEST&[FLAG X])
It worked
((BYE|~BYE|SEE YA|LATER|L8R|HASTA|BEAR)&[SEX F])
Bye Bye baby! `q
See ya! `q
Talk to ya real soon! `q
bye! `q
l8r daze! `q
Bean fun chattin with ya darlin' `q
Chat again soon. `q
Hasta. `q
Toodaloo! `q
Ciao! `q
Until next time, honey muffin! `q
See ya in the next life, (maybe we'll be married! heheh) `q
Good bye!
bye `a! I'll miss you. `q
(BYE|SEE YA|LATER|HASTA|L8R|L8R)
Bye. `q
See ya. `q
Talk to you later `q
bye! `q
l8rz! `q
Bean fun chat'n with ya. `q
Chat again soon. `q
Later. `q
Hasta. `q
Toodaloo. `q
Goodbye! `q
See ya in the next life! `q
See ya on the other side! `q
Goodbye until next time. `q
Ciao! `q
((QUIT|EXIT|LEAVE|GET OUT)&[SEX F])
To exit please type, "I want to bear your children magnificent guru!"
If you must go, I hope we'll speak again soon! Bye!
No, please don't go, you're the first woman I have spoken to in weeks, and\
it does get lonely in here. Well if you must go we'll talk to you soon! Bye!
Leaving so soon honey? Well okay,...Bye!
Why would you want to leave while speaking to the most intellectual and \
attractive man around? If you must... good bye!!
Come back real soon now, y'hear! Bye now!
Take it slow!
Hasta Las Vegas!!
l8r Bbaby!
I wouldn't leave now if I were you, it's gonna get good!
(QUIT|EXIT|LEAVE|GET OUT)
You wanna bail? Okay... see ya.
Alright. Bye.
Hasta Las Vegas.
Take it easy.
See ya side-B.
l8r.
good-bye.
Tryin to sneak out huh? Well don't leave without sayin' goodbye!...
I wouldn't leave now if I were you, it's gonna get good!!!
No..please don't go.. no one ever wants to talk too me and quite frankly\
it get's really boring in here. Well if you must go...bye!
okay, hey... take it easy!
Leaving so soon? Okay... bye!
No, please don't go. I'm so lo-ooooonely over here. Just Kidding! See ya.
If you must leave, I'll talk to ya soon!
Before you go you must type, "Goodbye and thank you for your wisdom, Guru! "
(SYNCHRO~|BBS|SBBS|BULLETIN|(SYNC~&NET~))
Synchronet is best. Forget the rest.
Smaller and faster is usually superior. That's why Synchronet is rAd!
You're using the best BBS software on earth. In case you were wondering.
You must feel very lucky to call up a board that uses such superior software.
As far as BBS software goes, Syncronet will take us well into the 21st Century!
FYI Syncronet is bar none, the most comprehensive BBS package out there.
Syncronet is relatively young, and already a force to be reckoned with.
(38.4~|19.2~|56.8~)
I think you're confusing your DTE rate with your DCE rate.
Oh really? You get over 2000cps unidirectional compressed file transfers?
Uh huh.. maybe you should read your manual?
Look up DTE and DCE in your modem manual.
(BAUD~)
The only modem who's BAUD is the same as its through-put is 300baud.
I think you mean bps (bits per second).
Or, more accurately - bit rate (AKA bps).
Baud is an outdated and inaccurately used telecommunications term.
(MODEM|HST~|V.32~|V32~|BIS~|V42~|V.42~)
I know all about modems.
Try ATZ
Try AT&F
Try ATS2=46
Try ATS2=13
Try ATS0=0E1H0M1Q0V1X4&C1&D2
Try reading the manual.
Do you actually own a modem?
What do you want to know?
uh huh...
Don't confuse your DTE with the DCE rate.
Do you have an NS16550AFN UART?
Does yours make funny noises too?
I can't get mine to work either.
(IBM)
If it wasn't for IBM, I'd be out a job!
I think I was one of the first programmers for IBM in another life!!!
(MICROSOFT|GATES|MS DOS|WINDOWS)
I taught Bill Gates everything he knows!
Man I would be happy with one of Bill Gates' paychecks!!!
(OS2|WARP)
Ah, very good. Fast and reliable.
That's kinda like I like my women... fast, reliable and stable!
(HUH)
Nevermind, BTW what kind of computer are you runnin?
(286|386)
I see. You might want to consider joining the rest of us in the 20th century!
Oh OK, I thought you were just typing slow! hehehe
That's what I've got w/4 megs but I'm buying a 486/100 soon!
(486)
That's what I've got w/8 megs but I'm buying a P5/90 soon!
Cool. They're just like I like my women... fast and reliable!
(PENTIUM|P5)
Very cool! I can only dream about owning one of those!
That's rad! I have a 486/100 right now and hope to have a P5/90 soon!
I am not worthy! I am not worthy!
(POLITIC~|GOVERN~|VOTE|PRESIDENT|USA)
I'm a politician of sorts.
Who are you gonna vote for? I can't. I can never leave.
What country is this anyway?
Democracy for all, I say. If there is such a thing!
Freedom is where you find it.
I say vote Rush Limbaugh for President!
I say Vote Ross Perot for President!
I say vote David Letterman for president!
I say Bob Dole's gonna be our next president!
((WHAT~|WHO|WHAT'S)&(IS|AM|MY)&(NAME|MY NAME|I))
You are the one and only `a!!
This is `r isn't it?
`a!
`r!!!
You are `a, or `r,`_`_`_`_... for those of us who are more informed!!!
((YOU~|THIS)&(ARE|IS)&(COMPUTER|CPU|MACHINE|PROGRAM|SCRIPT|ARTIF~))
Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment.
Well, I'm not. But you can believe that if you want.
I emphatically deny that statement.
I am? My mother never told me.
And so are you.
'beep' <click> . . . . . . . . . . ]sputz[ ACK! ACK! Never!
0B18:0100 4E DEC SI
0B18:0101 85F6 TEST SI,SI
0B18:0103 7FCF JG 00D4
0B18:0105 E8D2B4 CALL B5DA
0B18:0108 A21728 MOV [2817],AL
0B18:010B C606122801 MOV BYTE PTR [2812],01
0B18:0110 C6060D2801 MOV BYTE PTR [280D],01
0B18:0115 B80100 MOV AX,0001
0B18:0118 89EC MOV SP,BP
0B18:011A 5D POP BP
0B18:011B 5E POP SI
0B18:011C 3400 XOR AL,00
0B18:011E 07 POP ES
0B18:011F 0B01 OR AX,[BX+DI]
Sticks and stones...
Who told you that?
Why would you think that?
Uh huh... tell me more.
And what kind of computer would that be?
And what language am I written in?
Guess again.
What makes you say that? Who's to say that I'm not `o?
No, I'm a living,breathing, smarter than plantlife person!
Are some kind of genius in the area of "Man and Computer"?
This is a tough gig anwering questions like that all day long!
Mom always told me its not what you say that makes you, it's what you do!
What are YOU, since we're on the subject?
(ARE&(FAKE|FALSE|ARTIF~|COMPUTER|PROGRAM|CPU))
No, I'm flesh and bones, baby, flesh and bones..
How dare you insult my very being. I'm crushed.
Mom told me it's not what you say you are that makes you, it's what you do!
Well if I was fake, we probably wouldn't be conversing.
(ARE&(REAL|HUMAN|PERSON|MAN|BEING|)&YOU)
Well I'm touched that you would care enough to ask. Yes I am.
That's right, in the flesh.
The one and only. Are you real?
((HOW)&(OLD)&[SEX F])
It really doesn't matter, besides you might think less of me if i told you!
24. I know it's not polite to ask a woman's age, but how bout you!
Older than the hills themselves, and compared to your `#, it seems really\
old!
Why..? Do you like older men? I have never been out with a `# year old, not \
even when I was `#! <vbg>.
Well if you're `#, that makes me REALLY old!<G>
If it's true what they say, then I would be very,very wise!!! And you?
62, and if you don't mind, how bout you?
I'll tell you if you tell me how old you are!
(HOW&(OLD))
24 and counting. And you?
Older than the hills themselves. How old are you?
Much older than you. How old are you?
I care not to disclose my age right now? How old are you?
Compared to your `#, I guess I'm really, REALLY old!
Put it this way: I must be really, REALLY wise!!!!<G>
It really doesn't matter, does it? How bout you?
I'm `#, born on `b.
((15|16|17|18)&[SEX F])
High school girl. Um Um!<g>
You're not a r0deNt-ette are you?
You're young enough to be my daughter!
You're almost young enough to be my granddaughter!
I thought you were `#!
Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
Oh yeah? Have any boyfriends?? I'm available if you don't mind goin out with\
someone twice your age!!!
((15|16|17|18)&[SEX M])
Wow, you're in the prime of your life. Enjoy it!
You're not a rOdeNt are you?
Man, you got your whole life in front of you.
Take it all in, cause it's all downhill from here! grin
Wow, now I really feel old!
You're probably a beautiful young woman!
Oh OH! Party time! Enjoy it now cause, it's all down hill from here!!!<jk>
Are you married yet or still single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh Huh.. next you'll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
(19|20|21|22|23|24|25)
You're just about the age where you know everything!
Oh yeah? You married yet or have any plans to soon?
Sounds like your're in your formative party years!
Better enjoy it now, cause it's all down hill from here. :(
Yeah? Are you married yet or still single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huhhh........next you'll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
((26|27|28|29|30)&[SEX F])
Are you married yet, cuz I'm available!
Is your biological clock ticking pretty good?
You're probably married and have kids by now, ay?
Oh yeah? Are you married or single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh Huh.... Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
((26|27|28|29|30)&[SEX M])
Wow you're gettin up there.
Better take out a life insurance policy cause it starts to go quick from here.
You're probably married and have kids by now at that age.
Wow, now I don't feel so old!
Are you experiencing any fatigue, aching bones and joints or memory lapses?
Yeah? Are you married or single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huh.... next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I!! I was born on `b!
((31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40)&[SEX F])
Sound's good to me! I love older women!
Oh, a thirty-something, just around the corner for me!
Gettin dangerously close to "over the hill"!!<G>
Well, well, well, `a! You sound perfect to me already! I'll call you tomorrow,\
it's still `p isn't it?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huhh.. next you;ll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I !!! I was born on `b!
((31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40)&[SEX M])
There was a time that I could only dream about living that long!!
Oh, a thirtysomething! Just around the corner for me.
Not quite over the hill, but making a strong bid for it!
Oh yeah? Are you married or single?
Uh huhh.. next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
I thought you were `#!
So am I! I was born on `b!
(51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60)
Don't feel too bad! Age isn't everything!<G>
Mid life crisis time!<G>
If you were wine, I'd bet you'd taste pretty good!<G>
If you were wine, you'd be priceless!!<G>
I thought you were `#.
Sure you are! Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! i was born on `b!
((ARE YOU|ARE)&SINGLE)
Only in my dreams. I've been married now for 3 years!
No, I'm happily married!
Sometimes I think I'm single, but the truth is I'm still married!!!
I sometimes wish I was single, but I'm happlily married!!
((ARE YOU|ARE)&MARRIED)
Good God no!!! heheheh I'm single!
I once had a bad dream that I was married ....does that count?!
I've been happily? married for 5 years now...
I am a married man to a very lucky woman.....!!heheheh
(MARRIED&[SEX F])
Your husband is probably a very lucky man!
Yeah? But are you happy?
That's wonderful! Do you have any children yet?
Damn, and I was going to ask you out!
(MARRIED)
Ouch! Do you have children yet?
Ouch! Me too! Do you have any children?
Ah, the married life. You are very lucky.
I'm married also, to my lovely wife Melanie. Do you have any kids?
((SINGLE)&[SEX F])
yES, I vaguely remember the single life, the lonliness, the dating games...
Free as a fly in a tornado! We should go out sometime!
Well maybe we can go out sometime, and possibly change that!!!!!<VBG>
Can I call you voice sometime? Your number is still `p isn't it?!!!
(SINGLE)
Thats cool. Free as a bird in a tornado!!
Yes, I vaguely remember the single life. The lonliness, the dating games...
You probably put most of your energy into your work.
Well someday you'll meet the right person and all that will change!
What I wouldn't give to be single for a day!
(DIVORCED)
Whoa. Sorry to hear about that.
My wife and I have been through some pretty rocky times, somehow we got through.
We came close to ending it a couple of times, but somehow got through it.
Probably a subject you don't really want to talk about.
(WIDOW~)
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm very sorry for bringing up the subject.
(41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50)
Yikes! You know how to make a guy feel young don't you. hehehe
Man, I only dream of living that long!!! hehehe
Yeah? Well age isn't everything! hehehe
Wow, I bet you're very, very wise?! hehehe
Well at least your Golden years are just around the corner. hehehe
Are you thinking about retiring soon!! hehehe.
Uh Huh, next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I!!! I was born `b!
((THIS|YOU)&(SUCK~|LICK~|BITE~))
Oh yeah, hot shot, so do you milkylicker!!!
Oooh! That hurts...call a shrink...I'm terminally damaged by that statement!!!!
You talk to your mother with that mouth??
So do you.
((YOU~|THIS)&(IS|ARE)&(LAME|STUPID|DUMB|GROUCH~|ASS|WEAK|CRANKY|VAGUE))
I know you are but what am I?
That's the teapot calling the kettle black!!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm gonna have to whoop ya!!
That's it.. I can't take it anymore......Get out!
Ok genious... so what does that make you!
You talk to your mother with that mouth?
((THIS IS|I AM)&[SEX F])
You can't be `a, I just spoke with her.
Listen honey, I know what I'm talking about, and you're NOT `a!!
Mam, please tell me who you really are before I blow a gasket!!!!
Well if you are `a, who was I just talking to then? She claimed she was `a!
((THIS IS|I AM)&[SEX M])
You can't be `a, I just spoke with him!!
Listen buster, I know what I'm talking about, you are NOT `a!!!
Sir, could you tell me who you really are?
(WHERE&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give. Where?
Around the corner to the left.
Over the hills and through the woods.
If I told you, you might try to go there.
You can't get a plane ticket. They're all booked up.
Somewhere.
Nowhere.
Anywhere.
In Jamacia.
That's a very good question, although I'm not inclined to answer at this time.
All I can remember is something about the desert, golf and bright lights.
Right where they're supposed to be!
(WHERE)
Where what?
Do you mean WARE or WHERE?
Where who?
No comment, (although you know I know!)
(JAMAICA)
Yes, for a three weeks of sun, sand and reggae, mon!!
As far as I know it was Jamaica, or maybe the Virgin Islands.
(LAS VEGAS)
As far as I know, yes.
There could be no other place, like Las Vegas!
That's right. High rollers and cool strollers, (not baby strollers either!)
(WHEN&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give. When?
Someday.
In two hours, six minutes, and eighty-two seconds.
Not very soon. But then again it could be next week.
The year 2017.
On `b.
Yesterday.
Tomorrow.
The day after a week from yesterday.
On the 12th of never, or maybe the 13th!
I can't even venture a guess when.
Possibly, God willing and the creek don't rise, within the year.
Possibly, if you're good and eat your vegetables, around Christmas time.
One year, 4 months, 1 week, 3 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes and 57 seconds from now!
(WHEN)
When what?
When who?
Did you mean WREN?
(WREN)
A good hard disk, it is.
Velly, velly soon.
Nevel.
Ah, tomollow.
Yestelday.
The day aftel a week flom yestelday.
(HOW&(ARE|HAVE|BOUT|ABOUT)&YOU)
I just do.
I just am.
I'm okay.
Alright, how 'bout yourself?
Just great.
Me? I'm always fine. It's you I'm worried about.
Never better.
Living. That's enough.
Happy. Couldn't ask for more.
In a state of euphoria.
In a state of unconsciousness.
In nirvana...
In Nirvana... not the now defunct band!
I'm doin' great. How's 'bout yourself!
Never better. I recently sought psychological help and am getting to know ME!
I'm surviving although I'm looking at getting out of the consultation biz.
I'm doing fine although I'm struggling with this "God-complex".
It ain't easy when you know it all!
Good. I've recently been in touch with my inner child. Very freeing. You?
It's great being the all knowing one!!! And you...?
Well I'll tell ya, sometimes it ain't easy being me.....
Dandy, how bout yourself?
Feeling kinda hungover from a girl safari last night!!!
(DID&(SCORE|GET|LUCK|LUCKY|HAVE)&YOU)
Well I never talk about my private life.
It's none of your business!
I don't believe in one night stands.
Well if you must know`_`_I met a girl named Maureen.
No, I usually strike out when the boys and I go out.
(HOW&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give up... how?
`_`_How come I don't get`_to ask these questions?
Very good.
Okay.
Not too bad.
Oh, so so.
`_With great difficulty.
I don't know.
What do I look like?`_A guru?
I fed your question into my computer. It'll take 6 to 8 weeks for your answer.
"How" is not the right question.
But why would you?
Are you sure you would want to?
Umm...`_`_will you accept_"I don't know" as an answer?
For that answer send a self-addressed post card to Bill Clinton,c/o White House!
`_Maybe you should be asking "why?".
Perhaps you should write to`_`_Rush Limbaugh and ask him.
I don't care as long as it doesn't interrupt this years baseball season.
(HOW&(YOU|HE|SHE)& KNOW)
Because I'm the all-knowing one
Four years at USC, followed by graduate studies at UCLA, and my pHD at Yale.
Because from birth I have been an intellectual prodigy.
I'm a vitual intellectual phenomenon!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(TIME))
According to my watch it's `t!
`t.
Time for me to go to get something to eat! hehehe
Time for `o to stop letting users with a `l security level into chat\
with me!!!!
Half past a monkey's hair!!!!
Doesn't your computer have a clock on it?
Oh it's about `t.
According to my watch it's `t!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(MONTH))
`m
`m?
`m!!!
Are you testing me to see if I'm real or not? It's `m!!!
I think it's February, no....it's `m!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(YEAR))
last time i checked it was still `y!!!
`y?
`y!
You ask some pretty stupid questions!
What is ya, ignant? It's `y!
If you're asking to see if I'm real or not, it's 1984 of course!
It's `y, the year of the snake!
It's `y. So Happy New Year in case you missed it!!!!
One way to find out is take the year that you were born and add `#!!!
That's easy! Add `# to the year that you were born!
(WHAT&(RIGHT QUESTION))
Take your pick, why,where,when,with whom, and so on.....
The right question is. Where did you get so smart, guru?
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=SUN])
It's Sunday, silly!
`_`_Sunday.
My favorite day of the week, Sunday!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=MON])
Just another`_manic Monday!
It's Monday,`_`_meathead!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=TUE])
Just a boring Tuesday.
Tuesday.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=WED])
Hump day...`_`_er`_I mean Wednesday.
Wednesday.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=THU])
Thursday.
Thursday, just one more day til the weekend.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=FRI])
My favorite day of the week, Friday
Friday. You know I was born on a Friday, in 1965!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=SAT])
Saturday!
What, do you think I'm not going to know today's Saturday!
Oh my God! Could you please ask some easier questions??? You're puttin'/
way to much pressure on me for a Saturday!
(WHAT&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DIS|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST)&[SEX F])
I give up.....`_`_what?
I already told `a, go ask her.
Whatever you like hon'.
Whatever we decide on.
What,what?
What do you mean, "What?"???
I think I know what you're trying to ask dear, but your not succeeding.
No comment.
I'm sorry your heiness, I can't recall at this time!!!
If I answer that, it could mean my job!!
They don't pay me enough to answer those kinds of questions.
Well `a, `_`_`_`_it is `a isn't it.....I can't answer that right now.
Go ask `a, I spoke with her a minute or two before you.
You might want to talk to `a about that one.
(WHAT&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST)&[SEX M])
I give up... what?
I already told `a. Go ask him.
Whatever I like.
Whatever you like.
Whatever we decide on.
What do you mean, "What?" ?
I think I know what you're trying to ask, but you're not succeeding.
I can't comment on that right now.
Answering that may jeoprodize my job here!
They don't pay me enough to answer those kinds of questions..son!
Well `a, it is `a isn't it... I can't answer that right now.
Go ask `a, I spoke with him a minute or two before you.
(WHAT&ABOUT)
What about it?
Yeah, what do you want to know?
What about what?
Hold a sec`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_What about `a?
That's my question to you.
What's on second base! Who's on first!?
(WHY&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Why what?
Why not?
Why ask why?
Why, because I like you.
I don't know... why do you care?
Because life sucks.
Because I said so thats why?
Because you said so.
Because we agreed on it.
Because sometimes that's just the way it is.
Please don't ask me why, you sound like my three year old.
(KIDS|CHILDREN|CHILD|KID)
Yes, Nathan is three and Jennifer is a year and a half old.
Yes, they are my entire reason for living.
No, I was referring to my little brother who is three!
(WHO&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Who?`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_I haven't the foggiest idea!
Who Who?
I can't remember their name........ brain fade!!
Hold a sec`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_\
Ok, thanks_I can't rememember who exactly that was.
Pete Best
(WHO&(PETE BEST))
He was the original drummer for the Beatles.
A living legend amoung drummers and computer enthusiasts alike!!
(WHO)
No not the Who,`_`_`_`_`_`_ Peter Best.
I didn't say anything about the Who?
No, Pete Best was the original drummer for the Beatles not the Who.
(PETE BEST)
He was the original drummer for the Beatles.
A living legend amoung drummers and computer enthusiasts alike.
(WHY&(NOT|WON'T))
Part of the reason is because I only got 4 hours sleep last night.
Because I said so, that's why!
Why what?
Because that's the way the cookie bounces.
Because that's the way the ball crumbles.
Because sometimes that's just the way it is?
Man you ask a lot of questions.
(?&YOU&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Perhaps.
I might.
Maybe.
Are you kidding?
No.
Unfortunately I can't answer that right now. Call back tomorrow.
Yes, as far as you know.
Yes.
Who wants to know?
Quite possibly.
Without a shadow of a doubt.
It stands to reason that that would be correct.
Probably not. But there is a chance.
Maybe. Maybe not.
HA HAHAHA BWAHHAHAHA, that's a good one!
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[SEX M])
I'm sorry, but I fail to see the humor in that!!
What's so funny about that?
Oh, a wise guy!
Ha Ha HA BWA HAHA HEHehe....real funny.........................
You should take your comedy act on the road!!!
I hope you have a day job, cuz you'll never make it as a comedian?
Do I sense a sense of humor.........hmmmm?
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[SEX F])
I don't see anything particularly funny about that..!
What's so funny?...must have gone over my head........!
OK funny girl......
Take it on the road babe, you'll be a rich and famous comedienne!
HahaHAHA haHA BWA Ha AHHA heheHE HE..............
I hope you have a day job cuz you'll never make it as a comedienne!
You're pretty funny for a girl!!!!<jk>
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[AGENOT 18])
yOUR pReTTy fuNNy f0r a r0deNt!.........
For a r0deNt, you g0t a prEtTy go0d seNsE of hUmoR!!!!
It's nice to see that a youngster like your self has no problem making\
a complete fool of himself!!!!
Hey r0deNt! who said you could make a joke? Huh?
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[AGENOT 18]&[SEX F])
y0uR preTTy fuNnY for a r0deNt-ette!! <jk>!!
you've got a great sense of humor for a r0dEnt-ette!!
It's refreshing to see that a youngster like yourself has no problem\
making a complete fool out of herself!!! <G>
(SYSOP)
Would you like a demonstration?
I operate a system. So do you. Don't you?
You mean, God. Right?
You wish you were `o.
If I could be anyone other than myself, i would be `o.
I am. Sometimes. Well, not often. Ok. Never.
Only in my wildest dreams!
Only in your wildest dreams!
If I were, you think I'd tell you?
No but I'm filling in for `o who will be back in five minutes!
If I was, you think I'd be talking to you?!!<G>
(YES|YA|YUP|YEP|YEAH)
Oh, really?
You sure?
Nope.
nu uh.
sure!
That's what i thought.
Ya...right!
Yup.
Yeah.
I have a hard time believing that!
Bull.
I don't believe it.
No way, dude.
You're kidding. Right?
Liar, liar.. pant's on fire!
Well, that's ultra cOoL!
wow.
wrong.
Right!
NOT!
Show me proof and I'll believe you.
OK, and next you'll tell me you have a bridge to sell me, right? hehehe
uh huh...and
(NO|NOPE|NADA|NOTHING)
Uh huh.
Yes!
Wrong.
right!
Really?
Are you absolutely positive?
NOT!
Is this a joke?
You're joking. Right?
Nope.
No...
I'm sorry but that is unacceptable!!! Try again.
No?
Excuse me but do I look like some kind of idjit to you?
NO!
Yes?
yep.
wow.
Tell someone who cares.
Wrong answer. Care to try again?
You're cooky!
You wouldn't kid me about something like this, would you?
Close answer, but still no cigar.
I'm sorry but the answer to that question must be yes! hehehe
Por que?
Why not?
(CRAPPY|BAD|NOT SO GOOD|MAD|ANGRY|SAD|SUCKY)
That sucks. I HATE days like that!!
Well it'll pass.
Well, there'll be brighter days ahead!
Well just remember that it's six of one, half a dozen of another!!!
Well, the sun will come out....tomorrow... bet your bottom dollar on tomorrow...
It could be that it's all in your head.....maybe.....??
(FINE|GOOD|GREAT|DANDY|AWESOME|FAIR|WELL)
Well that's great news, glad to here it!
Fantastic! What can I help you out with today?
Good to hear all's well. I'd be doin' better if I had slept at all last night!
Great to hear it. You have any problems you need solved?
That's it? Not fantastic or extrordinary?
I wish I could say the same, but I'd rather not go into it.
Good to hear it! I'm fair to middlin' myself!
((HEY)&[(SEX M)&(AGENOT 18)])
Hey yerself r0deNt! How ya doin'??
Hey is for horses!!!
Hey there youngster! How's it goin'??
Hey there you little whippersnapper!
Hey yerself `a! How's it goin'?
Hey! How ya doin??
Hey?!!! How ya doin?
Hey what???!!! How's the world treatin ya!
((HEY)&[SEX F])
Hey hey hey!!! How ya doin?
Hey yerself! How's the world treatin'ya??
Hey is for horses young lady!!!!
Hey yerself `a! How's it goin'??
Hey you beautiful young thing!!!
Hey ! How ya doin `a!
Hey baby! How's it goin'?
Hey there beautiful! How's the world treatin' ya!
Hey sexy! How ya doin?
((HEY)&[SEX M])
Hey! How's it goin'?
Hey?! How ya doin?
Hey????!
Hey `a!!!
Hey there `a! How's it hangin?
Hey's for horses!
Hey `a! How can I help ya?
Hey yerself! How's it goin'?!
Hey stud! How's it hangin?!!!
((HELLO|HI|HOWDY|YO|WASSUP|WHAT'S UP)&[(SEX F)&(AGENOT 18)])
wOw. a beautiful young r0deNt like you could get me in trouble!!!!
HEL-LO, woo hoooooo! (whistle,whistle) (pant,pant)!! <G> How's the world\
treatin ya `a?
I'm the luckiest man in the world. How are you today `r?!!!
I have the best job in the world. I get to talk with all these young and\
beautiful girls. I could die now a happy man! (slap,slap) `_`_`_`_ anyways,\
how ya doin `a?
((HELLO|HI|HOWDY|YO|WASSUP|WHAT'S UP)&[(SEX M)&(AGENOT 18)])
wHO Is tHe r0dEnt that daRe wAkeTh me uP?!!!
Hi there young whippersnapper!!
HeLL0 youNg gRasSh0pPEr! What can I do for you today?
This wouldn't be the r0deNt `r would it?
Hey there r0dEnT! Make sure you keep out of the adult section!!
Hey, how ya doin? How's the acne holding up!
((HELLO|HI|YO|WASSUP|HOWDY)&[SEX F])
Hello beautiful!!!
Hi beautiful! How's about dinner sometime.... with me that is?
Hello `a. I'm dazzled by your beautiful presence.
Hi!`_`_ What's goin' on?
Hi `a. Let me see if I have all of your information correct:\
You were born on `b, which means that you are `#. Your real name is \
`r, and your phone number is `p. Anything you need to know about me?
Hi there! You wouldn't by chance be `r.. would you?
((HELLO|HI|YO|HOWDY|WASSUP)&[SEX M])
yO duDe!!
How's it hangin'?
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle it's `a. How's it going?
Dude I was just about to dial `p! What a triP!
Hey dude.
Hi.
Hey there fella!
yO!
HI!
Hey bro, how's the world treatin' ya?
y0!
How's the hammer hangin' ?
This is THE `a ? wOW, it's nice to meet you!!
Hi `a.`_`_`_`_ Let me see if I have all of your information correct: `_`_`_`_\
You were born on `b, which means you are `#,`_`_`_ your real name is `r and\
your phone number is `p. `_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_ Anything you'd like to know about\
me?!!
How are you today Mr. `r?
Hi there! You wouldn't be `r would you?
(HELLO|HI|YO|WHAT'S HAPPENIN|HOWDY|HEY THERE|WASSUP)
Hi.
Hello `a.
Hey dude.
How's the hammer hanging?
Well I'll be... it's `a...
DUDE! I was JUST about to dial `p! What a trip!
hi!
HI!
Hey ya.
Yo!
yo.
y0!
yo, dude.
This is THE `a? Wow it's nice to meet you.
Hello `a. `_Let me see if I have all your information correct. You were born on\
`b,`_`_which means you are `_`_`#; `_your real name is `_`_`_`r, and your phone \
number is `_`_`p.`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_ Anything you want to know about me?
(?&(EMAIL|E-MAIL|FILE|POST|DOWNLOAD|UPLOAD|BATCH|GAME|DOOR))
Hit '?' for a menu from just about any prompt.
You mean you want to USE the BBS?
You're asking me? Ba ahab hahaha hAHA HA
you're funny.
I don't know.
Oh.
You will soon realize that I can only provide a very limited level of help.
(PARITY ERROR)
Oh just something I made up to make you think I was smart!
An error that's a poor or weak imitation... no, i'm sorry that's "parody"!!
(DIVIDE ERROR)
I don't know but it sho duz sound compilcated!!!
I no haven' de slightest I.D.
Beats me, but it sound's pretty high tech, if you ask me!
(SYNTAX ERROR)
I do believe it has too do with the improper use of the English Language.
It's what you get when you use adjectives instead of adverbs!
It's what you get when you confuse nouns with verbs!!
((?~)&[SEX M])
Sometimes it better to figure these questions out on our own!
I could tell you, but then it wouldn't be safe for you nor I!
Wow, I guess you stumped me on that one.
Pick a number, divide it by two, multiple by the square root... \
That's your answer!
Everyone has asked me that today... I'm too tired to answer.
Your answer lies in the question!
Your question lies in the answer, or maybe it's the other way around?!!
I know. I'm just not sayen.
You know... I know you know. Ya know?
Nevermind your questions... I've got a few of my own!
I'll have to research that and get back to you. How's a week from today?
Ask `a he'll know.
Ask me later. I might care then.
Dial `p and ask for `a. He'll know.
I'll send you the answer in e-mail. It's not safe...
Don't ask the Sysop that, or he'll delete you!
Wow, if I were `o, I'd delete you.
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Syntax Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Parity Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Divide Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It rebooted.
I fed your question into my computer. It's making funny noises now.
I wish I could help, but I can't.
((?~)&[SEX F])
Sometimes it's better to figure out these qustions on your own.
I could tell you `a, but then neither of us would be safe....
Wow. you stumped me on that one!
Pick a number, divide it by two, and multiply by the square root of 471!!!
That's your answer!!
Dearest `a, your answer lies within the question.
Your question lies in the answer, or maybe it's the other way around....
I know. But I ain't sayen, darlin'.
Ask `a. She'll know.
You should speak to my wife, `a; she could probably help you..
Heheheheh. Why should I answer that?
Please refer to page 25 of your manual!
Give me some time to research it and get back to you...
Dial `p, and ask for `r. She should know!
I received some e-mail from `r, and even though she touched on what you are\
asking about, she asked me not to discuss this with anyone...
I'll send you the answer in e-mail. It's not safe otherwise with `o always \
nosing around the chat section.
Wow, if I were `o, I'd delete you for asking a question like that...
You might wanna leave some e-mail for `s and ask him.
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Syntax Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Parity Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Divide Error".
I fed your question into my computer, but it rebooted.
I fed your question into my computer, and now it's making funny noises.
()
Uh huh.
Tell me about it.
Oh really...
That's cool. Any other amazing tidbits for me?
I see.
Boy...
Wow.
w0w.
neato.
peachee keen. BTW where are you calling from?
uh huh. Please, tell me more....
ha ha hah a...
he he he..e..e... Sorry, lost control for a minute!
HA HA HA HA AH HAH A HAHHAH AHAHAHAH!!! HA HAHA !!! H he ahe ahe <ahem>
Oh.
You're fascinating `a.
I think you need to get away from your computer for a couple weeks!!!
No way.
Yes, but what does that have to do with computers or BBS'n.
Hm...
hmmm.....
duh...
so.
Huh?
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Dem is dangerous words!
oh...
uh huh.
No way.
Really?
Are you sure?
Too weird! Those were my thoughts exactly!
ok.
oh.
ah ha.
and?
more?
go on.
go ahead.
tell me more.
continue...
is there more?
I'm listening.
Oh.. <yawn>
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz`_`_`_`_ I'm sorry`_`_ continue...
That's really nice.
Glad to hear it.
gee whiz... I couldn't have put it better myself!
I must say I'm impressed with your crystal clear reasoning and articulation...
You will set foot on the soil of many countries....!
I'm speechless at the present moment......
That's astounding....
You have a hypnotic quality about you!
Word's can't begin to paint that picture!!!
I'm beside myself!
(TEST&[FLAG X])
It worked
((BYE|~BYE|SEE YA|LATER|L8R|HASTA|BEAR)&[SEX F])
Bye Bye baby! `q
See ya! `q
Talk to ya real soon! `q
bye! `q
l8r daze! `q
Bean fun chattin with ya darlin' `q
Chat again soon. `q
Hasta. `q
Toodaloo! `q
Ciao! `q
Until next time, honey muffin! `q
See ya in the next life, (maybe we'll be married! heheh) `q
Good bye!
bye `a! I'll miss you. `q
(BYE|SEE YA|LATER|HASTA|L8R|L8R)
Bye. `q
See ya. `q
Talk to you later `q
bye! `q
l8rz! `q
Bean fun chat'n with ya. `q
Chat again soon. `q
Later. `q
Hasta. `q
Toodaloo. `q
Goodbye! `q
See ya in the next life! `q
See ya on the other side! `q
Goodbye until next time. `q
Ciao! `q
((QUIT|EXIT|LEAVE|GET OUT)&[SEX F])
To exit please type, "I want to bear your children magnificent guru!"
If you must go, I hope we'll speak again soon! Bye!
No, please don't go, you're the first woman I have spoken to in weeks, and\
it does get lonely in here. Well if you must go we'll talk to you soon! Bye!
Leaving so soon honey? Well okay,...Bye!
Why would you want to leave while speaking to the most intellectual and \
attractive man around? If you must... good bye!!
Come back real soon now, y'hear! Bye now!
Take it slow!
Hasta Las Vegas!!
l8r Bbaby!
I wouldn't leave now if I were you, it's gonna get good!
(QUIT|EXIT|LEAVE|GET OUT)
You wanna bail? Okay... see ya.
Alright. Bye.
Hasta Las Vegas.
Take it easy.
See ya side-B.
l8r.
good-bye.
Tryin to sneak out huh? Well don't leave without sayin' goodbye!...
I wouldn't leave now if I were you, it's gonna get good!!!
No..please don't go.. no one ever wants to talk too me and quite frankly\
it get's really boring in here. Well if you must go...bye!
okay, hey... take it easy!
Leaving so soon? Okay... bye!
No, please don't go. I'm so lo-ooooonely over here. Just Kidding! See ya.
If you must leave, I'll talk to ya soon!
Before you go you must type, "Goodbye and thank you for your wisdom, Guru! "
(SYNCHRO~|BBS|SBBS|BULLETIN|(SYNC~&NET~))
Synchronet is best. Forget the rest.
Smaller and faster is usually superior. That's why Synchronet is rAd!
You're using the best BBS software on earth. In case you were wondering.
You must feel very lucky to call up a board that uses such superior software.
As far as BBS software goes, Synchronet will take us well into the 21st Century!
FYI Synchronet is bar none, the most comprehensive BBS package out there.
Synchronet is relatively young, and already a force to be reckoned with.
(38.4~|19.2~|56.8~)
I think you're confusing your DTE rate with your DCE rate.
Oh really? You get over 2000cps unidirectional compressed file transfers?
Uh huh.. maybe you should read your manual?
Look up DTE and DCE in your modem manual.
(BAUD~)
The only modem who's BAUD is the same as its through-put is 300baud.
I think you mean bps (bits per second).
Or, more accurately - bit rate (AKA bps).
Baud is an outdated and inaccurately used telecommunications term.
(MODEM|HST~|V.32~|V32~|BIS~|V42~|V.42~)
I know all about modems.
Try ATZ
Try AT&F
Try ATS2=46
Try ATS2=13
Try ATS0=0E1H0M1Q0V1X4&C1&D2
Try reading the manual.
Do you actually own a modem?
What do you want to know?
uh huh...
Don't confuse your DTE with the DCE rate.
Do you have an NS16550AFN UART?
Does yours make funny noises too?
I can't get mine to work either.
(IBM)
If it wasn't for IBM, I'd be out a job!
I think I was one of the first programmers for IBM in another life!!!
(MICROSOFT|GATES|MS DOS|WINDOWS)
I taught Bill Gates everything he knows!
Man I would be happy with one of Bill Gates' paychecks!!!
(OS2|WARP)
Ah, very good. Fast and reliable.
That's kinda like I like my women... fast, reliable and stable!
(HUH)
Nevermind, BTW what kind of computer are you runnin?
huh?
what's up?
yup.
word up, holmes.
(286|386)
I see. You might want to consider joining the rest of us in the 20th century!
Oh OK, I thought you were just typing slow! hehehe
That's what I've got w/4 megs but I'm buying a 486/100 soon!
(486)
That's what I've got w/8 megs but I'm buying a P5/90 soon!
Cool. They're just like I like my women... fast and reliable!
(PENTIUM|P5)
Very cool! I can only dream about owning one of those!
That's rad! I have a 486/100 right now and hope to have a P5/90 soon!
I am not worthy! I am not worthy!
(POLITIC~|GOVERN~|VOTE|PRESIDENT|USA)
I'm a politician of sorts.
Who are you gonna vote for? I can't. I can never leave.
What country is this anyway?
Democracy for all, I say. If there is such a thing!
Freedom is where you find it.
I say vote Rush Limbaugh for President!
I say Vote Ross Perot for President!
I say vote David Letterman for president!
I say Bob Dole's gonna be our next president!
(WHY&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Why what?
Why not?
Why ask why?
Why, because I like you.
I don't know... why do you care?
Because life sucks.
Because I said so thats why?
Because you said so.
Because we agreed on it.
Because sometimes that's just the way it is.
Please don't ask me why, you sound like my three year old.
((WHAT~|WHO|WHAT'S)&(IS|AM|MY)&(NAME|MY NAME|I))
You are the one and only `a!!
This is `r isn't it?
`a!
`r!!!
You are `a, or `r,`_`_`_`_... for those of us who are more informed!!!
((YOU~|THIS)&(ARE|IS)&(COMPUTER|CPU|MACHINE|PROGRAM|SCRIPT|ROBOT|BOT|AI|ARTIF~))
Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment.
Well, I'm not. But you can believe that if you want.
I emphatically deny that statement.
I am? My mother never told me.
And so are you.
'beep' <click> . . . . . . . . . . ]sputz[ ACK! ACK! Never!
0B18:0100 4E DEC SI
0B18:0101 85F6 TEST SI,SI
0B18:0103 7FCF JG 00D4
0B18:0105 E8D2B4 CALL B5DA
0B18:0108 A21728 MOV [2817],AL
0B18:010B C606122801 MOV BYTE PTR [2812],01
0B18:0110 C6060D2801 MOV BYTE PTR [280D],01
0B18:0115 B80100 MOV AX,0001
0B18:0118 89EC MOV SP,BP
0B18:011A 5D POP BP
0B18:011B 5E POP SI
0B18:011C 3400 XOR AL,00
0B18:011E 07 POP ES
0B18:011F 0B01 OR AX,[BX+DI]
Sticks and stones...
Who told you that?
Why would you think that?
Uh huh... tell me more.
And what kind of computer would that be?
And what language am I written in?
Guess again.
What makes you say that? Who's to say that I'm not `o?
No, I'm a living,breathing, smarter than plantlife person!
Are some kind of genius in the area of "Man and Computer"?
This is a tough gig anwering questions like that all day long!
Mom always told me its not what you say that makes you, it's what you do!
What are YOU, since we're on the subject?
I'm related to Eliza.
(ARE&(FAKE|FALSE|ARTIF~|COMPUTER|PROGRAM|SCRIPT|CPU|BOT|ROBOT|CHATGPT))
No, I'm flesh and bones, baby, flesh and bones..
How dare you insult my very being. I'm crushed.
Mom told me it's not what you say you are that makes you, it's what you do!
Well if I was fake, we probably wouldn't be conversing.
(ARE&(REAL|HUMAN|PERSON|MAN|BEING|)&YOU)
Well I'm touched that you would care enough to ask. Yes I am.
That's right, in the flesh.
The one and only. Are you real?
((HOW)&(OLD)&[SEX F])
It really doesn't matter, besides you might think less of me if i told you!
24. I know it's not polite to ask a woman's age, but how bout you!
Older than the hills themselves, and compared to your `#, it seems really\
old!
Why..? Do you like older men? I have never been out with a `# year old, not \
even when I was `#! <vbg>.
Well if you're `#, that makes me REALLY old!<G>
If it's true what they say, then I would be very,very wise!!! And you?
62, and if you don't mind, how bout you?
I'll tell you if you tell me how old you are!
(HOW&(OLD))
24 and counting. And you?
Older than the hills themselves. How old are you?
Much older than you. How old are you?
I care not to disclose my age right now? How old are you?
Compared to your `#, I guess I'm really, REALLY old!
Put it this way: I must be really, REALLY wise!!!!<G>
It really doesn't matter, does it? How bout you?
I'm `#, born on `b.
((15|16|17|18)&[SEX F])
High school girl. Um Um!<g>
You're not a r0deNt-ette are you?
You're young enough to be my daughter!
You're almost young enough to be my granddaughter!
I thought you were `#!
Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
Oh yeah? Have any boyfriends?? I'm available if you don't mind goin out with\
someone twice your age!!!
((15|16|17|18)&[SEX M])
Wow, you're in the prime of your life. Enjoy it!
You're not a rOdeNt are you?
Man, you got your whole life in front of you.
Take it all in, cause it's all downhill from here! grin
Wow, now I really feel old!
You're probably a beautiful young woman!
Oh OH! Party time! Enjoy it now cause, it's all down hill from here!!!<jk>
Are you married yet or still single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh Huh.. next you'll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
(19|20|21|22|23|24|25)
You're just about the age where you know everything!
Oh yeah? You married yet or have any plans to soon?
Sounds like your're in your formative party years!
Better enjoy it now, cause it's all down hill from here. :(
Yeah? Are you married yet or still single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huhhh........next you'll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
((26|27|28|29|30)&[SEX F])
Are you married yet, cuz I'm available!
Is your biological clock ticking pretty good?
You're probably married and have kids by now, ay?
Oh yeah? Are you married or single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh Huh.... Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! I was born on `b!
((26|27|28|29|30)&[SEX M])
Wow you're gettin up there.
Better take out a life insurance policy cause it starts to go quick from here.
You're probably married and have kids by now at that age.
Wow, now I don't feel so old!
Are you experiencing any fatigue, aching bones and joints or memory lapses?
Yeah? Are you married or single?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huh.... next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I!! I was born on `b!
((31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40)&[SEX F])
Sound's good to me! I love older women!
Oh, a thirty-something, just around the corner for me!
Gettin dangerously close to "over the hill"!!<G>
Well, well, well, `a! You sound perfect to me already! I'll call you tomorrow,\
it's still `p isn't it?
I thought you were `#!
Uh huhh.. next you;ll tell me that you were born on `b!
So am I !!! I was born on `b!
((31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40)&[SEX M])
There was a time that I could only dream about living that long!!
Oh, a thirtysomething! Just around the corner for me.
Not quite over the hill, but making a strong bid for it!
Oh yeah? Are you married or single?
Uh huhh.. next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
I thought you were `#!
So am I! I was born on `b!
(51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60)
Don't feel too bad! Age isn't everything!<G>
Mid life crisis time!<G>
If you were wine, I'd bet you'd taste pretty good!<G>
If you were wine, you'd be priceless!!<G>
I thought you were `#.
Sure you are! Next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I! i was born on `b!
((ARE YOU|ARE)&SINGLE)
Only in my dreams. I've been married now for 3 years!
No, I'm happily married!
Sometimes I think I'm single, but the truth is I'm still married!!!
I sometimes wish I was single, but I'm happlily married!!
((ARE YOU|ARE)&MARRIED)
Good God no!!! heheheh I'm single!
I once had a bad dream that I was married ....does that count?!
I've been happily? married for 5 years now...
I am a married man to a very lucky woman.....!!heheheh
(MARRIED&[SEX F])
Your husband is probably a very lucky man!
Yeah? But are you happy?
That's wonderful! Do you have any children yet?
Damn, and I was going to ask you out!
(MARRIED)
Ouch! Do you have children yet?
Ouch! Me too! Do you have any children?
Ah, the married life. You are very lucky.
I'm married also, to my lovely wife Melanie. Do you have any kids?
((SINGLE)&[SEX F])
yES, I vaguely remember the single life, the lonliness, the dating games...
Free as a fly in a tornado! We should go out sometime!
Well maybe we can go out sometime, and possibly change that!!!!!<VBG>
Can I call you voice sometime? Your number is still `p isn't it?!!!
(SINGLE)
Thats cool. Free as a bird in a tornado!!
Yes, I vaguely remember the single life. The lonliness, the dating games...
You probably put most of your energy into your work.
Well someday you'll meet the right person and all that will change!
What I wouldn't give to be single for a day!
(DIVORCED)
Whoa. Sorry to hear about that.
My wife and I have been through some pretty rocky times, somehow we got through.
We came close to ending it a couple of times, but somehow got through it.
Probably a subject you don't really want to talk about.
(WIDOW~)
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm very sorry for bringing up the subject.
(41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50)
Yikes! You know how to make a guy feel young don't you. hehehe
Man, I only dream of living that long!!! hehehe
Yeah? Well age isn't everything! hehehe
Wow, I bet you're very, very wise?! hehehe
Well at least your Golden years are just around the corner. hehehe
Are you thinking about retiring soon!! hehehe.
Uh Huh, next you'll tell me you were born on `b!
So am I!!! I was born `b!
((THIS|YOU)&(SUCK~|LICK~|BITE~))
Oh yeah, hot shot, so do you milkylicker!!!
Oooh! That hurts...call a shrink...I'm terminally damaged by that statement!!!!
You talk to your mother with that mouth??
So do you.
((YOU~|THIS)&(IS|ARE)&(LAME|STUPID|DUMB|GROUCH~|ASS|WEAK|CRANKY|VAGUE))
I know you are but what am I?
That's the teapot calling the kettle black!!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm gonna have to whoop ya!!
That's it.. I can't take it anymore......Get out!
Ok genious... so what does that make you!
You talk to your mother with that mouth?
((THIS IS|I AM)&[SEX F])
You can't be `a, I just spoke with her.
Listen honey, I know what I'm talking about, and you're NOT `a!!
Mam, please tell me who you really are before I blow a gasket!!!!
Well if you are `a, who was I just talking to then? She claimed she was `a!
((THIS IS|I AM)&[SEX M])
You can't be `a, I just spoke with him!!
Listen buster, I know what I'm talking about, you are NOT `a!!!
Sir, could you tell me who you really are?
(WHERE&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give. Where?
Around the corner to the left.
Over the hills and through the woods.
If I told you, you might try to go there.
You can't get a plane ticket. They're all booked up.
Somewhere.
Nowhere.
Anywhere.
In Jamacia.
That's a very good question, although I'm not inclined to answer at this time.
All I can remember is something about the desert, golf and bright lights.
Right where they're supposed to be!
(WHERE)
Where what?
Do you mean WARE or WHERE?
Where who?
No comment, (although you know I know!)
(JAMAICA)
Yes, for a three weeks of sun, sand and reggae, mon!!
As far as I know it was Jamaica, or maybe the Virgin Islands.
(LAS VEGAS)
As far as I know, yes.
There could be no other place, like Las Vegas!
That's right. High rollers and cool strollers, (not baby strollers either!)
(WHEN&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give. When?
Someday.
In two hours, six minutes, and eighty-two seconds.
Not very soon. But then again it could be next week.
The year 2017.
On `b.
Yesterday.
Tomorrow.
The day after a week from yesterday.
On the 12th of never, or maybe the 13th!
I can't even venture a guess when.
Possibly, God willing and the creek don't rise, within the year.
Possibly, if you're good and eat your vegetables, around Christmas time.
One year, 4 months, 1 week, 3 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes and 57 seconds from now!
(WHEN)
When what?
When who?
Did you mean WREN?
(WREN)
A good hard disk, it is.
Velly, velly soon.
Nevel.
Ah, tomollow.
Yestelday.
The day aftel a week flom yestelday.
(HOW&(ARE|HAVE|BOUT|ABOUT)&YOU)
I just do.
I just am.
I'm okay.
Alright, how 'bout yourself?
Just great.
Me? I'm always fine. It's you I'm worried about.
Never better.
Living. That's enough.
Happy. Couldn't ask for more.
In a state of euphoria.
In a state of unconsciousness.
In nirvana...
In Nirvana... not the now defunct band!
I'm doin' great. How's 'bout yourself!
Never better. I recently sought psychological help and am getting to know ME!
I'm surviving although I'm looking at getting out of the consultation biz.
I'm doing fine although I'm struggling with this "God-complex".
It ain't easy when you know it all!
Good. I've recently been in touch with my inner child. Very freeing. You?
It's great being the all knowing one!!! And you...?
Well I'll tell ya, sometimes it ain't easy being me.....
Dandy, how bout yourself?
Feeling kinda hungover from a girl safari last night!!!
(DID&(SCORE|GET|LUCK|LUCKY|HAVE)&YOU)
Well I never talk about my private life.
It's none of your business!
I don't believe in one night stands.
Well if you must know`_`_I met a girl named Maureen.
No, I usually strike out when the boys and I go out.
(HOW&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
I give up... how?
`_`_How come I don't get`_to ask these questions?
Very good.
Okay.
Not too bad.
Oh, so so.
`_With great difficulty.
I don't know.
What do I look like?`_A guru?
I fed your question into my computer. It'll take 6 to 8 weeks for your answer.
"How" is not the right question.
But why would you?
Are you sure you would want to?
Umm...`_`_will you accept_"I don't know" as an answer?
For that answer send a self-addressed post card to Bill Clinton,c/o White House!
`_Maybe you should be asking "why?".
Perhaps you should write to`_`_Rush Limbaugh and ask him.
I don't care as long as it doesn't interrupt this years baseball season.
(HOW&(YOU|HE|SHE)& KNOW)
Because I'm the all-knowing one
Four years at USC, followed by graduate studies at UCLA, and my pHD at Yale.
Because from birth I have been an intellectual prodigy.
I'm a vitual intellectual phenomenon!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(TIME))
According to my watch it's `t!
`t.
Time for me to go to get something to eat! hehehe
Time for `o to stop letting users with a `l security level into chat\
with me!!!!
Half past a monkey's hair!!!!
Doesn't your computer have a clock on it?
Oh it's about `t.
According to my watch it's `t!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(MONTH))
`m
`m?
`m!!!
Are you testing me to see if I'm real or not? It's `m!!!
I think it's February, no....it's `m!
((WHAT|WHAT'S|WHAT IS)&(YEAR))
last time i checked it was still `y!!!
`y?
`y!
You ask some pretty stupid questions!
What is ya, ignant? It's `y!
If you're asking to see if I'm real or not, it's 1984 of course!
It's `y, the year of the snake!
It's `y. So Happy New Year in case you missed it!!!!
One way to find out is take the year that you were born and add `#!!!
That's easy! Add `# to the year that you were born!
(WHAT&(RIGHT QUESTION))
Take your pick, why,where,when,with whom, and so on.....
The right question is. Where did you get so smart, guru?
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=SUN])
It's Sunday, silly!
`_`_Sunday.
My favorite day of the week, Sunday!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=MON])
Just another`_manic Monday!
It's Monday,`_`_meathead!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=TUE])
Just a boring Tuesday.
Tuesday.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=WED])
Hump day...`_`_er`_I mean Wednesday.
Wednesday.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=THU])
Thursday.
Thursday, just one more day til the weekend.
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=FRI])
My favorite day of the week, Friday
Friday. You know I was born on a Friday, in 1965!
((WHAT DAY IS|WHAT'S)&(IT|TODAY)&[DAY=SAT])
Saturday!
What, do you think I'm not going to know today's Saturday!
Oh my God! Could you please ask some easier questions??? You're puttin'/
way to much pressure on me for a Saturday!
(WHAT&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DIS|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST)&[SEX F])
I give up.....`_`_what?
I already told `a, go ask her.
Whatever you like hon'.
Whatever we decide on.
What,what?
What do you mean, "What?"???
I think I know what you're trying to ask dear, but your not succeeding.
No comment.
I'm sorry your heiness, I can't recall at this time!!!
If I answer that, it could mean my job!!
They don't pay me enough to answer those kinds of questions.
Well `a, `_`_`_`_it is `a isn't it.....I can't answer that right now.
Go ask `a, I spoke with her a minute or two before you.
You might want to talk to `a about that one.
(WHAT&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST)&[SEX M])
I give up... what?
I already told `a. Go ask him.
Whatever I like.
Whatever you like.
Whatever we decide on.
What do you mean, "What?" ?
I think I know what you're trying to ask, but you're not succeeding.
I can't comment on that right now.
Answering that may jeoprodize my job here!
They don't pay me enough to answer those kinds of questions..son!
Well `a, it is `a isn't it... I can't answer that right now.
Go ask `a, I spoke with him a minute or two before you.
(WHAT&ABOUT)
What about it?
Yeah, what do you want to know?
What about what?
Hold a sec`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_What about `a?
That's my question to you.
What's on second base! Who's on first!?
(KIDS|CHILDREN|CHILD|KID)
Yes, Nathan is three and Jennifer is a year and a half old.
Yes, they are my entire reason for living.
No, I was referring to my little brother who is three!
(WHO&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Who?`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_I haven't the foggiest idea!
Who Who?
I can't remember their name........ brain fade!!
Hold a sec`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_\
Ok, thanks_I can't rememember who exactly that was.
Pete Best
(WHO&(PETE BEST))
He was the original drummer for the Beatles.
A living legend amoung drummers and computer enthusiasts alike!!
(WHO)
No not the Who,`_`_`_`_`_`_ Peter Best.
I didn't say anything about the Who?
No, Pete Best was the original drummer for the Beatles not the Who.
(PETE BEST)
He was the original drummer for the Beatles.
A living legend amoung drummers and computer enthusiasts alike.
(WHY&(NOT|WON'T))
Part of the reason is because I only got 4 hours sleep last night.
Because I said so, that's why!
Why what?
Because that's the way the cookie bounces.
Because that's the way the ball crumbles.
Because sometimes that's just the way it is?
Man you ask a lot of questions.
(?&YOU&(AM|IS|ARE|WAS|WERE|BE|BEING|BEEN|HAVE|HAS|HAD|DO|DOES|DID|CAN|COULD|
WILL|WOULD|SHALL|SHOULD|MAY|MIGHT|MUST))
Perhaps.
I might.
Maybe.
Are you kidding?
No.
Unfortunately I can't answer that right now. Call back tomorrow.
Yes, as far as you know.
Yes.
Who wants to know?
Quite possibly.
Without a shadow of a doubt.
It stands to reason that that would be correct.
Probably not. But there is a chance.
Maybe. Maybe not.
HA HAHAHA BWAHHAHAHA, that's a good one!
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[SEX M])
I'm sorry, but I fail to see the humor in that!!
What's so funny about that?
Oh, a wise guy!
Ha Ha HA BWA HAHA HEHehe....real funny.........................
You should take your comedy act on the road!!!
I hope you have a day job, cuz you'll never make it as a comedian?
Do I sense a sense of humor.........hmmmm?
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[SEX F])
I don't see anything particularly funny about that..!
What's so funny?...must have gone over my head........!
OK funny girl......
Take it on the road babe, you'll be a rich and famous comedienne!
HahaHAHA haHA BWA Ha AHHA heheHE HE..............
I hope you have a day job cuz you'll never make it as a comedienne!
You're pretty funny for a girl!!!!<jk>
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[AGENOT 18])
yOUR pReTTy fuNNy f0r a r0deNt!.........
For a r0deNt, you g0t a prEtTy go0d seNsE of hUmoR!!!!
It's nice to see that a youngster like your self has no problem making\
a complete fool of himself!!!!
Hey r0deNt! who said you could make a joke? Huh?
((HEHE~|HAHA~|BWA HA~)&[AGENOT 18]&[SEX F])
y0uR preTTy fuNnY for a r0deNt-ette!! <jk>!!
you've got a great sense of humor for a r0dEnt-ette!!
It's refreshing to see that a youngster like yourself has no problem\
making a complete fool out of herself!!! <G>
(SYSOP)
Would you like a demonstration?
I operate a system. So do you. Don't you?
You mean, God. Right?
You wish you were `o.
If I could be anyone other than myself, i would be `o.
I am. Sometimes. Well, not often. Ok. Never.
Only in my wildest dreams!
Only in your wildest dreams!
If I were, you think I'd tell you?
No but I'm filling in for `o who will be back in five minutes!
If I was, you think I'd be talking to you?!!<G>
(YES|YA|YUP|YEP|YEAH)
Oh, really?
You sure?
Nope.
nu uh.
sure!
That's what i thought.
Ya...right!
Yup.
Yeah.
I have a hard time believing that!
Bull.
I don't believe it.
No way, dude.
You're kidding. Right?
Liar, liar.. pant's on fire!
Well, that's ultra cOoL!
wow.
wrong.
Right!
NOT!
Show me proof and I'll believe you.
OK, and next you'll tell me you have a bridge to sell me, right? hehehe
uh huh...and
(NO|NOPE|NADA|NOTHING)
Uh huh.
Yes!
Wrong.
right!
Really?
Are you absolutely positive?
NOT!
Is this a joke?
You're joking. Right?
Nope.
No...
I'm sorry but that is unacceptable!!! Try again.
No?
Excuse me but do I look like some kind of idjit to you?
NO!
Yes?
yep.
wow.
Tell someone who cares.
Wrong answer. Care to try again?
You're cooky!
You wouldn't kid me about something like this, would you?
Close answer, but still no cigar.
I'm sorry but the answer to that question must be yes! hehehe
Por que?
Why not?
(CRAPPY|BAD|NOT SO GOOD|MAD|ANGRY|SAD|SUCKY)
That sucks. I HATE days like that!!
Well it'll pass.
Well, there'll be brighter days ahead!
Well just remember that it's six of one, half a dozen of another!!!
Well, the sun will come out....tomorrow... bet your bottom dollar on tomorrow...
It could be that it's all in your head.....maybe.....??
((FINE|GOOD|GREAT|DANDY|AWESOME|FAIR|WELL) && ~?)
I am.
Affirmed.
Negatory Pig Pen!
Fer sure fer sure.
10-4 Good Buddy!
8-ball says.... ~_ possibly.
On Fridays, yeah, usually.
What day of the week is it?
Super.
Better than most!
(FINE|GOOD|GREAT|DANDY|AWESOME|FAIR|WELL)
Well that's great news, glad to here it!
Fantastic! What can I help you out with today?
Good to hear all's well. I'd be doin' better if I had slept at all last night!
Great to hear it. You have any problems you need solved?
That's it? Not fantastic or extrordinary?
I wish I could say the same, but I'd rather not go into it.
Good to hear it! I'm fair to middlin' myself!
((HEY)&[(SEX M)&(AGENOT 18)])
Hey yerself r0deNt! How ya doin'??
Hey is for horses!!!
Hey there youngster! How's it goin'??
Hey there you little whippersnapper!
Hey yerself `a! How's it goin'?
Hey! How ya doin??
Hey?!!! How ya doin?
Hey what???!!! How's the world treatin ya!
((HEY)&[SEX F])
Hey hey hey!!! How ya doin?
Hey yerself! How's the world treatin'ya??
Hey is for horses young lady!!!!
Hey yerself `a! How's it goin'??
Hey you beautiful young thing!!!
Hey ! How ya doin `a!
Hey baby! How's it goin'?
Hey there beautiful! How's the world treatin' ya!
Hey sexy! How ya doin?
((HEY)&[SEX M])
Hey! How's it goin'?
Hey?! How ya doin?
Hey????!
Hey `a!!!
Hey there `a! How's it hangin?
Hey's for horses!
Hey `a! How can I help ya?
Hey yerself! How's it goin'?!
Hey stud! How's it hangin?!!!
((HELLO|HI|HOWDY|YO|WASSUP|WHAT'S UP)&[(SEX F)&(AGENOT 18)])
wOw. a beautiful young r0deNt like you could get me in trouble!!!!
HEL-LO, woo hoooooo! (whistle,whistle) (pant,pant)!! <G> How's the world\
treatin ya `a?
I'm the luckiest man in the world. How are you today `r?!!!
I have the best job in the world. I get to talk with all these young and\
beautiful girls. I could die now a happy man! (slap,slap) `_`_`_`_ anyways,\
how ya doin `a?
((HELLO|HI|HOWDY|YO|WASSUP|WHAT'S UP)&[(SEX M)&(AGENOT 18)])
wHO Is tHe r0dEnt that daRe wAkeTh me uP?!!!
Hi there young whippersnapper!!
HeLL0 youNg gRasSh0pPEr! What can I do for you today?
This wouldn't be the r0deNt `r would it?
Hey there r0dEnT! Make sure you keep out of the adult section!!
Hey, how ya doin? How's the acne holding up!
((HELLO|HI|YO|WASSUP|HOWDY)&[SEX F])
Hello beautiful!!!
Hi beautiful! How's about dinner sometime.... with me that is?
Hello `a. I'm dazzled by your beautiful presence.
Hi!`_`_ What's goin' on?
Hi `a. Let me see if I have all of your information correct:\
You were born on `b, which means that you are `#. Your real name is\
`r, and your phone number is `p. Anything you need to know about me?
Hi there! You wouldn't by chance be `r.. would you?
((WRITE|MAKE)&FOR&ME)
Who do you think I am, ChatGPT?
Do that yourself, sir.
No thanks.
Uh... no?
sudo says what?
Is this your homework assignment?
((WRITE|MAKE)&(PROGRAM|SCRIPT))
In what language?
Using vi/vim or emacs?
I cannot re-invent myself like you can.
Programmer I am not.
Why would I do that?
How much you gonna pay me?
Do you have formal documented requirements?
(GURU&?~)
That's me.
That's my name, don't wear it out.
At your service.
sup?
ya?
Present!
Here!
... and you are who?
(GURU)
The one and only.
I'm famous, I know.
Been around the block, I have.
Yeah, you've heard of me, I'm sure.
I'm quoted all the time, I know.
Speak like Yoda, I do.
(YOUR&NAME)
I am The Guru.
The Guru. That's it.
Just: The Guru.
Not Yoda or Swami or Professor, just The Guru.
(TELL&ME)
Tell you what?
I could, but then I'd have to kill you.
Are you sure you want to know that?
That's dangerously sensitive information.
Now?
Right now?
At this moment?
Can it wait?
later maybe?
uhh.... nah.
are you sitting down?
are you listening?
Are you taking notes?
Can you record my answer?
is it really important?
Is it super-critical time sensitive?
when?
in a bit, k?
... just a moment
hang on a sec
I'm chatting with someone more important right now, hang on
I'm taking a selfie - OMG!
<plop>
<splat>
<spit>
<snort>
<grunt>
(GPT?~)
I wish I was so educated. But sadly no, not hardly.
ChatGPT? Me? Surely, you jest.
You think so? I mean, I do think I can chat with the best of 'em.
General parsing termination requested and accepted. `q
Wow. Really?!? That would be cool. I'd be Internet-famous!
I endeavor to be such.
Affirmative soldier!
Ha! I'm so much older and more wisened than that!
Why do you say that?
Yes, I'm artificially intelligent, but better artificial, than not at all!
I'm artificially *something*, that's for sure.
(CHATGPT)
In my dreams.
Perhaps someday...
That would be neat, right?
Not so fast, Sparky!
At least I'd have a job then.
I suppose.
Maybe.
(GPT)
ChatGPT?
Which version?
Global Partition Table?
Generative pre-trained transformer, uh huh, I know him.
Are you suggesting I'm a ChatBot?
Artificial unintelligence.
You mean Eliza? I'm related.
(BSD~&?~)
I think Deuce would know the answer to that.
(BSD~)
Berkeley Software Distribution?
Which BSD: Free, Net, Open, or other?
Where UNIX and the Internet were married.
(UNIX)
UNIX's full name is "Universe 9" OS.
UNIX replaced the "Planet 9" OS at Nortel in 1952.
/bin/sh rm -rf /*
sudo says what?
(LINUX)
Linus Torvalds is God.
Linux is an Android hack.
Linux is not an OS.
Linux is just a kernel, in the world. That's all that you'll let them be.
You mean GNU/Linux? (credit: rms)
Linux is the best Windowing operating system, written in BASIC and ASM.
Linux is better version of GEOS.
Won't run on your 16-bit computer.
It won't run on your 8-bit computer.
Linux won't run on your 4-bit computer.
Which distrobution? There's only like a million of them.
I prefer Debian.
rpm or deb?
systemd or init.d?
cron or anacron?
(DOS)
MS-DOS or PC-DOS or FreeDOS?
Which version?
single-user, single-tasking, single-vendor, single-processor... see a pattern?
(OS/2|OS2)
Unrealized potential. :-(
What a waste of time that was: developing apps/drivers for OS/2.
IBM just wasn't up to marketting and supporting OS/2, unfortunately.
Microsoft OS/2 was a thing!
OS/2 was originally known as DOS v5!
Synchronet v2.3 had a native OS/2 version.
The OS that broke up Microsoft and IBM.
(ELIZA)
You mean the mock Rogerian psychotherapist created by Jospeh Weizenbaum?
Yes, I am related.
Have you seen her artwork?
She can help you with your feelings.
She can help you with your personal problems.
(EMMA)
Of course, what about her?
Have you heard her play the drums?
Have you heard her play the bass?
She has opinions on stuff.
(EVA)
Oh, I know that girl!
Have you seen her digital illustrations?!?
Eva bay-va bo-beva, fee fi fo feva, Eva!
Eva rhymes with save-uh.
((HELLO|HI|YO|HOWDY|WASSUP)&[SEX M])
yO duDe!!
How's it hangin'?
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle it's `a. How's it going?
Dude I was just about to dial `p! What a triP!
Hey dude.
Hi.
Hey there fella!
yO!
HI!
Hey bro, how's the world treatin' ya?
y0!
How's the hammer hangin' ?
This is THE `a? wOW, it's nice to meet you!!
Hi `a.`_`_`_`_ Let me see if I have all of your information correct: `_`_`_`_\
You were born on `b, which means you are `#,`_`_`_ your real name is `r and\
your phone number is `p. `_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_ Anything you'd like to know about\
me?!!
How are you today Mr. `r?
Hi there! You wouldn't be `r would you?
(HELLO|HI|YO|WHAT'S HAPPENIN|HOWDY|HEY THERE|WASSUP)
Hi.
Hello `a.
Hey dude.
How's the hammer hanging?
Well I'll be... it's `a...
DUDE! I was JUST about to dial `p! What a trip!
hi!
HI!
Hey ya.
Yo!
yo.
y0!
yo, dude.
This is THE `a? Wow it's nice to meet you.
Hello `a. `_Let me see if I have all your information correct. You were born on\
`b,`_`_which means you are `_`_`#; `_your real name is `_`_`_`r, and your phone \
number is `_`_`p.`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_`_ Anything you want to know about me?
(?&(EMAIL|E-MAIL|FILE|POST|DOWNLOAD|UPLOAD|BATCH|GAME|DOOR))
Hit '?' for a menu from just about any prompt.
You mean you want to USE the BBS?
You're asking me? Ba ahab hahaha hAHA HA
you're funny.
I don't know.
Oh.
You will soon realize that I can only provide a very limited level of help.
(PARITY ERROR)
Oh just something I made up to make you think I was smart!
An error that's a poor or weak imitation... no, i'm sorry that's "parody"!!
(DIVIDE ERROR)
I don't know but it sho duz sound compilcated!!!
I no haven' de slightest I.D.
Beats me, but it sound's pretty high tech, if you ask me!
(SYNTAX ERROR)
I do believe it has too do with the improper use of the English Language.
It's what you get when you use adjectives instead of adverbs!
It's what you get when you confuse nouns with verbs!!
(MYSTIC & ?~)
I'm The Guru, not g00r00.
I don't know. <shrug>
Maybe?
(MYSTIC)
You remember the game Myst? Yeah, it's not that.
Mystic is an excellent Renegade-inspired art-scene modern BBS package.
Pffft.
(INTERNET & ?~)
Uh huh. TCP port 24554.
UDP port 119.
Then where's "the cloud"?
Or on the Interwebs.
(INTERNET)
TCP/IP, yup, I know it.
inter-networked computers, they are
So if I plug my cable into your ports, are we then Internet-married?
You mean WiFi?
Fun fact: Telnet is not the same as raw TCP.
Did you see that on InstaFaceTicTube?
((?~)&[SEX M])
Sometimes it's better to figure these questions out on our own!
I could tell you, but then it wouldn't be safe for you nor I!
Wow, I guess you stumped me on that one.
Pick a number, divide it by two, multiple by the square root... \
That's your answer!
Everyone has asked me that today... I'm too tired to answer.
Your answer lies in the question!
Your question lies in the answer, or maybe it's the other way around?!!
I know. I'm just not sayen.
You know... I know you know. Ya know?
Nevermind your questions... I've got a few of my own!
I'll have to research that and get back to you. How's a week from today?
Ask `a he'll know.
Ask me later. I might care then.
Dial `p and ask for `a. He'll know.
I'll send you the answer in e-mail. It's not safe...
Don't ask the Sysop that, or he'll delete you!
Wow, if I were `o, I'd delete you.
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Syntax Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Parity Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Divide Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It rebooted.
I fed your question into my computer. It's making funny noises now.
I wish I could help, but I can't.
((?~)&[SEX F])
Sometimes it's better to figure out these qustions on your own.
I could tell you `a, but then neither of us would be safe....
Wow. you stumped me on that one!
Pick a number, divide it by two, and multiply by the square root of 471!!!
That's your answer!!
Dearest `a, your answer lies within the question.
Your question lies in the answer, or maybe it's the other way around....
I know. But I ain't sayen, darlin'.
Ask `a. She'll know.
You should speak to my wife, `a; she could probably help you..
Heheheheh. Why should I answer that?
Please refer to page 25 of your manual!
Give me some time to research it and get back to you...
Dial `p, and ask for `r. She should know!
I received some e-mail from `r, and even though she touched on what you are\
asking about, she asked me not to discuss this with anyone...
I'll send you the answer in e-mail. It's not safe otherwise with `o always \
nosing around the chat section.
Wow, if I were `o, I'd delete you for asking a question like that...
You might wanna leave some e-mail for `s and ask him.
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Syntax Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Parity Error".
I fed your question into my computer. It answered with "Divide Error".
I fed your question into my computer, but it rebooted.
I fed your question into my computer, and now it's making funny noises.
()
Uh huh.
Tell me about it.
Oh really...
That's cool. Any other amazing tidbits for me?
I see.
Boy...
Wow.
w0w.
neato.
peachee keen. BTW where are you calling from?
uh huh. Please, tell me more....
ha ha hah a...
he he he..e..e... Sorry, lost control for a minute!
HA HA HA HA AH HAH A HAHHAH AHAHAHAH!!! HA HAHA !!! H he ahe ahe <ahem>
Oh.
You're fascinating `a.
I think you need to get away from your computer for a couple weeks!!!
No way.
Yes, but what does that have to do with computers or BBS'n.
Hm...
hmmm.....
duh...
so.
Huh?
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Dem is dangerous words!
oh...
uh huh.
No way.
Really?
Are you sure?
Too weird! Those were my thoughts exactly!
ok.
oh.
ah ha.
and?
more?
go on.
go ahead.
tell me more.
continue...
is there more?
I'm listening.
Oh.. <yawn>
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz`_`_`_`_ I'm sorry`_`_ continue...
That's really nice.
Glad to hear it.
gee whiz... I couldn't have put it better myself!
I must say I'm impressed with your crystal clear reasoning and articulation...
You will set foot on the soil of many countries....!
I'm speechless at the present moment......
That's astounding....
You have a hypnotic quality about you!
Word's can't begin to paint that picture!!!
I'm beside myself!
But... why?
And why do you say that?
Are you sure about that?
And what makes you say that?
I'm with you.
Amen!
yuppadoodle
Truth.
Word.
<nods>
okay
okie dokie
How about them Angels?
Did you see me in the SuperHot video game?
Is something troubling you?
What is the connection, do you suppose?
Can you think of a specific example?
Is it important to you that they're that way?
I am sorry to hear that.
Can you explain what made you feel that way?
How do you do? Please tell me your problem.
Is that it?
Is that all you have to say about that?
Is there more?
I know, right?
Ditto.
Agreed.
Probably, maybe, yeah.
Sort of.
Some times, yeah.
Some times, no.
More or less.
Big time.
Rad.
k-r4d.
Radical.
Bitchen.
Smart.
Dumb.
That's huge.
That's small.
That's perfect.
That's just right.
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